It’s a common concern we hear from parents: “My child follows directions for the therapist, but when we get home, it’s like nothing sticks.” If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It simply means your child has learned certain skills in one setting, and now needs support learning how to use them consistently at home.

In therapy, children are taught skills in a structured, consistent environment where expectations are clear, and reinforcement is used immediately. Therapists are trained to respond the same way each time a behavior happens, and sessions are carefully planned to encourage success. At home, things are naturally more dynamic—dinner’s cooking, siblings are talking, routines shift. It’s no surprise that following directions can feel harder in a less controlled environment.

The key is to bridge the gap between therapy and home. Start by observing what works during your child’s sessions. What words or prompts do the therapists use? How do they give praise or rewards? Mimicking this language and structure at home can help your child connect the dots. For example, if the therapist uses short, clear instructions like “Sit down, please” and follows up with a high five, try using the same approach at home to reinforce consistency.

Next, make sure positive behaviors at home are being reinforced just like they are in therapy. If your child listens to a direction or responds calmly, offer praise, a small reward, or a favorite activity. Reinforcement helps your child understand that listening to you brings good things, just like it does in therapy.

It’s also helpful to keep your tone calm and confident, and to follow through on directions the same way each time. Consistency helps your child know what to expect, which builds trust and cooperation. If needed, ask your child’s therapy team to include you in sessions or provide specific strategies for home practice—this collaboration can make a big difference.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Your relationship with your child is different than the one they have with their therapist—and that’s a good thing. With support and the right tools, you can become just as effective in teaching and guiding your child in everyday life.